my heart feels so heavy and hollow, just as hollow as my stomach. I feel like I need to be beautiful to be good enough, and I shouldn’t. I keep saying I won’t someone who likes me for who I am…and there is someone now. well what if he’s not what I want? there’s nothing wrong with him. he will make a girl very happy some day…I’m just not that girl. I wish I was, because he’d be great. but not for me. I’m not naive. I know when someone does not feel things at a level that I do, that I need them to, and I know better than to go for someone I know I’m not right for. its not worth it for me, and for him. but what if I never find anyone? what if I’m just expecting too much. they don’t make boys like what I want anymore. I don’t know, I should stop… its just that I don’t want to be alone.